Leadership Isn’t Always a Pep Rally: Sometimes It’s Just Good Process

By Someone Who’s Not Here to Sell You Positivity Kool-Aid

When people talk about “leadership” in tech (and especially in IT project work), the conversation often splits into two camps.

There’s the Chipper Brigade:

  • Always smiling
  • Always upbeat
  • Always talking about “synergy” and “transformational journeys”
  • Probably has a spreadsheet color-coded by the phases of the moon

And then there’s people like me:

  • Direct, measured
  • Focused on the outcome, not the parade
  • Calmly skeptical because, well, we’ve seen things
  • More “let’s execute well” than “let’s all feel amazing while burning down scope”

The Realistic Leader

Here’s the truth: both approaches can work. But one of them tends to survive real-world IT projects with fewer therapy bills.

Leadership, Without the Pom-Poms

Thanks to a slightly unusual combination of strengths (Gallup’s Deliberative, Responsibility, Relator, Analytical, Learner, and a healthy dash of Command), and a neurodivergent brain wired for pattern detection, I approach leadership a little differently:

  • I don’t pretend problems aren’t there. Leadership isn’t about ignoring risk. It’s about managing it deliberately, responsibly, with eyes wide open.

  • I don’t need everyone to “feel amazing” all the time. I need everyone to know what their job is, have the support to do it, and be able to escalate real issues without fear of being told to “just stay positive.”

  • I’m not obsessed with being the loudest voice in the room. I’m obsessed with the signal-to-noise ratio. Good leadership is making sure communication cuts through cleanly, not making everyone louder.

In short, I’m not the glass-half-full leader, nor the glass-half-empty one. I’m the “who’s in charge of topping up the glass?” leader. It’s the difference between optimism and operational reality.

Most IT Projects Are Simple — If You Manage the Process

Here’s the dirty little secret of most IT projects, especially in cloud and security:

  • The technology is not the hard part. Vendors (and engineers) like to act like it is because it makes them feel important, but if you can read and click a mouse, most modern platforms are straightforward (after the 15th acronym, anyway).

  • Managing change is the hard part. People. Expectations. Timelines. The process around change. Communication. Handling resistance without letting it fester into sabotage. That’s where projects live or die.

  • Communication is not the same as cheerleading. Communication is making sure people know what’s happening, when, why it matters to them, and what to expect next. It’s setting clear expectations, not inflating them with empty positivity.

So when I “lead,” it’s not with relentless smiles or rah-rah speeches. It’s with deliberate planning, direct communication, and ruthless clarity on what matters. That’s what builds trust. That’s what drives outcomes. That’s what gets projects done.

The Velvet Hammer Approach

I’ve been described as a “velvet hammer” — direct but not cruel, firm but fair, outcomes-focused without trampling people.

That’s leadership too. It just looks less like a TED talk and more like an architect quietly pointing out where the foundation needs to be reinforced before the house collapses.

And honestly?

In IT (and especially in security), I’d rather be the architect than the hype man.